Perhaps the spiritual counterpart (in its ultimate manifestation) to the one who manifests “malignant narcissism” is the one who is “perfectly possessed” by the devil. This concept is briefly treated in Malachi Martin’s harrowing collection of accounts of actual exorcisms, Hostage to the Devil. Unlike most of those who are possessed, and who retain some control of their own will, even if only sporadically—they can still cry out for help—the perfectly possessed have wholly given their wills over to evil and hence are under total control of the devil. They are beyond violent or dramatic reactions to holy things or prayers of exorcism. You can throw holy water on them or bless them with a crucifix and they will give you a cold, blank stare, or perhaps a contemptuous sneer. They cannot repent. They will not repent. Only an extraordinary and direct divine intervention can save them. They are “people of the lie” in its complete and total expression.
After this little excursus into psychology and demonology, let us return to the rank and file sinner, who has perhaps lost the sense of sin or at least the fear of any real consequence of sin. “Deep in his heart the sinner hears the whispering of evil, and loses sight of the fear of God; flatters himself with the thought that his misdoings go undiscovered, earn no reproof” (Psalm 35/36:2-3). The first half of that quote is a concise expression of the essence of the dynamic of temptation and sin. Unfortunately, the lack of good catechesis over the past few decades, along with the reluctance of many priests to hear confessions or to give the straight truth about sin and its consequences, have contributed greatly to this loss of the awareness of sin and hence of the practice of repentance.
I’m focusing a lot on sin and repentance here, and traditional Christians tend to be accused of focusing too much on these “negative” aspects of life (sometimes rightly). The focus on sin should be brief and to the point, so it can be quickly rid of for the sake of enjoying the life of grace and peace that Christ died to give us. But if you don’t deal seriously and effectively with sin, then all the rest becomes corrupt or superficial or distorted. We cannot serve two masters; if we do not repent of sin, we cannot be accepted as servants of the Lord.
We have first to train ourselves to recognize and admit—humbly, clearly, and without excuses—our sins, and then walk away liberated! The process of self-deception, of finger-pointing, of avoiding the issues, of making excuses, of creating a righteous persona while not dealing with the “dead men’s bones” within us (see Mt. 23:27-28), will only turn us into “people of the lie,” and if this becomes habitual, we will have a very difficult time ever returning to the light of truth and grace and love. The attention to sin can be brief and precise, but the practice of repentance is ongoing, for it is a way of life—the Christian way, the way that consists of continually turning more completely, more faithfully, more permanently to God.
So the program is simple: recognize your sin, then simply admit it (to yourself and to God), confess it in the presence of a priest and receive absolution, enter into the freedom of the children of God, and then do whatever it takes to maintain your standing in his grace and peace.
The liturgical texts of the Byzantine Churches help us shear away all hypocrisy, self-justification, and beating around the bush—by simply getting right to the point without making excuses. For example, this text from Vespers: “O my God, I now confess before You all the sins which I have committed against You in thought, word, and deed! For I have wasted all the time of this whole day and, filled with sin, I have come to the beginning of this night. Thus I bow down before You, crying out: ‘O my Lord and Savior, I have sinned against You! Grant me forgiveness and save me!” That is the kind of prayer God readily hears, the kind of person He readily forgives, for this prayer is from the heart and filled with true compunction. It’s an honest admission and a sincere cry for help. As for the “I’m OK, you’re OK” approach to morality, no mercy is forthcoming for that.
God has so much to give us, such rich grace to lavish upon us, such joy and peace to impart to us, but He must withhold it because of our lack of repentance and efforts to return to Him. The fatted calf was ready for the prodigal son’s return, but if he never came to his senses and repented of his sin before God and his father, the celebration never would have happened. The lost would not have been found; the dead would not have come back to life.
So God says to the sinners who still refuse to repent: “Hear, O my people, while I admonish you… if you would but listen to me! …I am the Lord your God… open your mouth wide and I will fill it. But my people did not listen to my voice… O that my people would listen to me [and] walk in my ways! …I would feed you with the finest of wheat, and with honey from the rock I would satisfy you” (Ps. 80/81:9-17). The Lord wants to do good to us. In one of our liturgical texts He is described as the One “whose delight it is to bestow gifts upon us.” But we have to be capable of receiving his gifts, and we will not have this capacity without repentance. God will do everything short of removing our freedom, but He cannot do that without at the same time destroying his image in us, and that He will not do.
The sweetness and the fire of divine love await us. The riches of the Kingdom of Heaven stand ready to be granted to us. The divine indwelling is one act of repentance and absolution away. What are you waiting for? Do not deceive yourself. If you do not take repentance seriously you are not living in the Holy Spirit, even if you fancy that you are, due to some vague spiritual feelings or to being deceived by “enlightened” teachers who tell you that sin is an outdated concept and that God would never send anyone to Hell. Well, they may be right about that last part, but God may have to stand by as you send yourself to Hell, when you at last see what your soul looks like in the pure, searching Light of divine truth. At that moment you’re quite clear on where you have to go, and you’ll need no one to send you there! You’ll fly there yourself as fast as you possibly can, to escape “the face of Him who is seated on the throne” (Rev. 6:15-17), whose infinitely tender love you have scorned through perseverance in sin, and whom you now cannot bear to look upon for a moment, because of the dreadful anguish and shame which all eternity will be insufficient to erase. Then you’ll have endless ages to say: “If only I had just admitted my sin! I could have been happy forever!”
I hope for better things for you and for me, but Heaven doesn’t come automatically. We have to have the capacity to receive it. We all have sinned. Just admit it. Turn to Him who is always turned toward you and whose delight it is to bestow gifts upon you. Then there will be rejoicing among the angels and saints in Heaven, and the object of their rejoicing will be you! So much blessing and bliss await us, if only we will abandon our ignorance, pride, or that bitter satisfaction of holding on to our grudges or pet vices just to assert our narcissistic autonomy. Autonomy from God is slavery to the devil. Choose repentance and choose eternal life!
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